Song Breakdown: Nite Lites

zephaniah chesterfield
Mar 27, 2019
10 min read

Did this one after being gone from music for a while. Tryna help folks and chase dollars... not really a waste but damn sure a drain of soul and spirit, ya dig? You ever do something because you believe in people and it just wasn't there? Like you honestly tried, but... nope. Went out to the D to get some money, and usually, whenever that's the motive, I'm gonna die but only a lottle. It was a cool trip, but things go up and down, and when you're a creator and not creating, you die. Money does what it does, it's a trap and a trick however you cut it. There for one thing, distract you from being free, and put you in chains. Yeah, folks go off on that, "Yeah, but you use it to get free...." which is like using chains to break free. It's like using heroine to get off of crack. On top of that, the whole situation was shaky. I just saw a lot of the worst of people. Made me believe in kids a little, but I'd just wanna take all of the kids and ship them to another planet, because the rest of the folks here are assholes. Like when you're the only honest person around, and you're trying to show a kid in hell how to not be a demon and stay sane while not getting swallowed up... but you're both in hell, and you'll be leaving soon. On top of that, you're going back to earth, and a lot of the shit from hell, they'll be right there too! Yeah, it was good to get lost in some music after that. A lot of good there, don't get me wrong, but more stuff pissed me off than was actually cool.

I remember sitting on a roof with Charlie at this one studio, looking at the city... was in California then... Late evening, as the sun's going down, all deep red and purple. You see as much of the city as you can. Anyways, you see the lights and everything, and you just... fuckin... hate it. All them ants just breeding for nothing and dying for money and an illusion of free. It's a waste. And a lot of what's become of people is a crock of shit. I was telling Charlie that i didn't give the human race another century... before it wiped itself out. If not it's whole self, a good chunk of it. The assholes will push the button, and the "good people" don't matter anyways. They're either getting used and screwed, or they're dying trying to let their light shine. Meanwhile, the assholes just gain more and more ground. Charlie's pretty optimistic. I guess being however old she is, she's seen a few things... no doubt. She was talking about how there's always these cycles of being, which balances out, but it's always going to be a lot of darkness if there's going to be a lot of light. The trick, she said, is to not see it as light or dark, but everything just is what it is, and find how it works for you. If you can't find how it works for you, then get outta there and find what does. Make the most of the times, because right now is as good as it will be. Always see it like that, she said. Just "Fuck it, living the dream. This is what it is, and it's as good as it's gonna be right now, because that's what it is right now. If it was gonna be better it would be. If it was gonna be worse, it woulda been that too." Me? Nah, man. I call bullshit and assholes on a lot of society and how the world is now. But even then, ain't that many bullets, and you only die a little trying to make other people, while you always live making your self. Besides, you didn't ask to be here like anyone else, and you didn't write the script, you just act out your part... like everyone else. It's not your sickness. This is not your dis-ease, so don't let it infect you. A lot of times tho, standing on rooftops and ledges... watching cities and streets, scenes... you picture "the bomb" being dropped, and kinda smile. There's a little tension there, a little uneasiness, like a disapproval... like, "What a crock of shit rip-off all of this was." And you function on a level between thoughts and emotion, void of religion and even faith, and you just sit there knowing you exist... and that's all you know. It's... awkward. I'mma shut up about that now.

Anyways... i like this one. it's cool. i hate singing but hear singing in my head and no one else can really do the voice how i hear it in my head so i just say "meh" and go and sing it. A lot of songs were actually supposed to be done by other folks but i ended up doing it. That, too, is disappointing, but i make the most of it. The crew doesn't mind, maybe because then THEY don't have to do it. Charlie can sing. I've heard her. She's got a great voice, but singing does have a level of vulnerability there, you put yourself out there differently, especially if you wrote the song as well. Writing it takes a lot, to arrange all of that, and your part of the sound. A lot of emotions goes into that. Sometimes you feel drained, but relieved when you're good with a song, like done writing it. Like, "Ok, slayed the dragon. I'm at peace now. So.... who's gonna articulate this?" and then you gotta go right back into the fire. Blessing and a curse. While you have to work thru the whole energy of that all over again, you also get a new sense of release. The sound is a whole other thing. Hearing it back, even as you're in the process of actually singing it, hearing the playback in the headphones just kinda opens you up more, you feel lighter. It's like shedding in the rain or something. Dramatic, yeah, but i'm tryna capture the feeling and our natural first language is vibration, which words can't always capture.

The picture is Philly, a shot of downtown from close to home, around maybe Spring Garden St. somewhere... mixed in there is a picture of the 210 freeway in Cali, and a view from the Jaiden Malone place in Monrovia Ca (Primrose & Olive). It's kinda how things look when shifting. You focus on one place, so the other ones blur and streak... kinda phase out. Sometimes it happens slow, sometimes it happens quick. Depends on your focus and if you get distracted. Distracted is just shifting focus. So if you're in one place, and you're focused on going somewhere else, but along the way your mind takes you to how the colors in-between are, then you'll stay in-between longer cause that's where your mind is, your focus... that's where you're putting your self. Byrdo did the photoshop thing to it and it came out looking like that. He said if anything he would have added more lights to it, but i dig it as is, so... fuck it. It works. Captures the feeling too, even the view from the room. Not "THE ROOM" the room, but the room. Sometimes all you want to see is a picture of it. Sometimes the chatter from both worlds overlaps, and it's a bit overwhelming.

What's it about? People always ask that. This one kinda tells itself if you listen, but for those who loooove reading, here ya go. Ok, dig it, Humanity is killing me, real talk, and i cannot stand a lot of daily life. I want to get out of here, but honestly, i'd have to do what's already been done, which is erase my mind and be born again somewhere else free of what's become of humanity.... but the "angels" "fell" for the same things, and all of that is a dream and plan of "god" so honestly, where is there to go? but around in circles of music... or off into the night buzzed doing whatever. God's figuring it all out too, gaining understanding. i mean, dig it, it already knows, but still, if you've got forever, then spend some time understanding what you know. why not be it from time to time, and in that its also being you as well as the distractions. that gets too complicated, too overwhelming, which is why there's an individual mind created, to isolate your self. that's complicated also. that's, not my deal tho. i'd have to get away from a lot of things to even begin to understand my deal. music allows that space. There is no out of the loop of being. Being is inescapable. Consciousness is a form of being. You can escape consciousness, and in doing that you're as close to free as you're going to be. But still, being is inescapable. Ah, but dig it, consciousness is where everything is experienced... that's where the understanding takes place. So lacking consciousness means you're out of the game, but still in the game unaware that you're even playing. You're a vegetable. Hahaha. There's ways of experiencing this where things are good. Like music... this song for example. DOING the song is different from listening to the song. Playing music kinda removes me, and other people who play and have that connection, from consciousness. You're aware of the sounds, and the feeling of the sounds, there's a peace there, but you zone out from playing. It's kind of like a ride. You're not steering so much as you are on a journey, if that makes any sense. Sure, you play the notes, and a part of you is thinking what notes to play, but the rest of you is just understanding pure expression, and the joy of that ability, and so it's just playing, just moving on this journey. You detach and slip into the music. It's about not being a part of consciousness anymore. That chaotic tension and shaking when lifting off of the ground but also the stillness, the openness, the freedom of no longer being on the ground. That moment some folks come to where you have to go, but some stay and crumble, others break free and can fly.So.... fade when consciousness hits too hard, and the more you are/have, the harder and quicker it hits.

As far as the lyrics, it's pretty simple. i wanted less, simplicity, something straight forward and basic, which is hard to do sometimes when you're used to talking a lot. some folks struggle with 16 bars, trying to fit everything into that. that's a lot of room to move around in. here the focus was on each line alone, and how it connected, the whole picture painted by each line. i was tired of thinking, tired of people, tired of money... tired of a lot. even tired of little things, like eating. you eat, you burn it off, crap it out, gotta eat again. there's all of these cycles and systems that interrupt and distract you from just being you. sure, the options of expression in those things, and the recognizing the beauty and level of detail and importance of those things is there, yeah, but you're kinda forced into it. What if you don't want all of that? What if you don't need all of that? What if what you're trying to do, how you're trying to understand your self, figure and work you out, you don't need those distractions sometimes. Sometimes you just need to float in silence, or the stillness at least, out of the chaos, and just collect your self. Words get in the way. Thoughts get in the way. Needs and impulses, triggers, all of the rest of the world and things put on you, pushing and pulling, screaming and flashing, all of that pointless attention seeking and things just burning to shine... you don't need all of that because it's not you. The more words the more you get pulled into thinking and being. screw all that. "minimal. and from the heart and gut and soul. I want to not be here. i have to get out of here." that's this song, dig? Charlie got me on the guitar too, i loved it. She was feeling it too and was like, "Pssst... you're let me do something on that. I like that. I'm feeling that." It felt good to get out and dance in vibes again, exploring sounds, out of my head and into being purely. After being saturated by the world and all of this detached attention sucking crap, a break is nice. But... i'm still here. Meh. Fuck it.

After having been out on the road, i came in, and went down the hall to the Staxx.... didn't even eat i don't think. Just came in the door and went right to the room. Sat down at the computer in the Staxx... put some headphones on. And started feeling thru music. If you get that you get it. You ever know what you're looking for but can't piece together how to get it? Like the things you need aren't there sometimes, and other times it's just the space you're in. Things line up and click in living life. I had the idea for the drums and the idea for that synth bass. Just finding the right one, and having it flow how it was supposed to flow is the thing. So, sifting thru music, instruments, samples (loops) and whatever else there until the parts come to you. I'll have a lot of sounds in a song, and then cut sections out, which is pretty easy to do because music is mathematical... pretty much everything is. Anyways, so sifting thru that, you kinda make this big full bunch of noise. A great deal of the sounds are there, the main elements... so from there you just listen to them to see who's saying what. The drums kicked off, but the synth bass came in and did what it was doing... that kinda large whale creature underwater moving along slowly, floating, singing it's song.... You strip everything down to the main fabric, kinda, the main bone structure i guess... drum and bass. I listened to just that for a while and it felt good. You can see that in the blue and deep purple in the picture, the black light effect. The shimmering light sounds came in next. That kinda bubbles floating to the surface, the lights weaving their way through all of the discord, through the grit and lowering of vibrations, from the ground upward. All of the streaks and that thing your eyes do when you kinda cross your eyes looking at stoplights in the rain, that fireworks kinda thing.... that was the dance and space between the bass and those high notes, the air of it, there was a soothing breath to it. That was the experience... slipping into that, you feel yourself fading out of this heavy saturated pressurized crap, into a warm open space. SO, "I feel me fading... into the nite lites...." and so on and so on. After really sitting in it, the final release was hearing the guitar that Charlie put in there. That part made it worth it. Like going thru things alone is tough enough, and to find an escape is great, but to be able to connect with someone while there is just amazing. Same vibe, going on the same ride. It was pretty dope.

You reading this. How is your day so far?